In a few minutes we are expecting my family to descend on our house to celebrate K's 21st birthday. This will be the second round of Happy Birthday singing - her friends came to a Hobbit themed party last weekend, and that was blustery fun. I want to celebrate this marvellous human as much as possible - birthday or no birthday. She makes the world a better place with her laughter, kindness and sense of propriety.
The hordes don't know it yet, but we have put together a slide show of photographs of special moments in K's life, and a fun quiz if anyone wants to join in. We have a lot of photos, and sifting through the thousands this past week has been both a pleasure and a jolt for me. So many memories come up, and I felt both incredibly fortunate to have so many wonderful times in my heart, head and photo albums, and also more than a little sad. Photos of people who can't share our celebrations with us any more, and the passing of time in what seems just a heartbeat, have made me tear up on more than one preview of the slideshow.
But I -we- are capable of holding two seemingly opposite emotions together at the same time. The happiness makes the sadness bearable, and the sadness makes the happiness meaningful.
We tried the quiz out on her friends last week, and it was interesting to watch people's reactions. Everyone organised themselves into groups and we gave each group a thick crayon and a clipboard of paper. The quiet ones took notes while the videos were playing - what colour jersey K was wearing in the snow, who sang the backing track, what K wrote on the chimney with the power-hose while cleaning. Others doodled, some producing quaint crayony pictures, others sat quite still and absorbed the information in picture form. And it occurred to me that we all take in things in different ways, and there is no right way to learn or have fun. They all seemed to enjoy the challenge - hence the repeat this afternoon with a different group. I wonder how The Family will deal with it.
I like throwing an unexpected challenge out to people, as long as nobody takes it too seriously. Challenges push our boundaries just a little and give us a taste of how doing things differently might increase our appetite for change. And change we must, because being static is both impossible and unhealthy. There are lots of changes happening here as K becomes more and more independent, and I adapt to adult children.
It has been quite a year of celebrations so far, what with Andrew's 60th and K's 21st. The rest of the year might seem a bit dull, unless we decide to fill it with new adventures and celebrations.
In the meantime we have cake to eat. Happy birthday K. I love you.
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| 21 Years ago.... |
