Satisfactory

 This year is on its last, wobbly, legs. Logical sequence of time seems to have been thrown out my window - was it really just 12 months ago that South Africa was put on the Red list, and all travel plans were summarily chucked in the dustbin? It seems much longer really.  One of the effects of Covid has been to concatenate time and confuse my  memory.  But yes, confusing as it is, this year is hammering towards the finish line.

 

Recognise this  Angel?

Which means it is Christmas time.  For a variety of twinkling reasons, this is not my favourite season. (Spring is!) To give you an example of exactly how Grinchy I can be, the chore I dislike the most is dismantling the Christmas tree and  tidying up the decorations.  When the children were little and we all pretended that Father Christmas, elves, snow in 35 degrees, flying reindeer and toilet rolls covered in crinkle paper, were all absolutely believable and necessary this time of the year,  Christmas did sparkle and have a magic feeling, because children ooze enthusiasm and sincere belief.  I am older and more jaded now, and hearing Jingle Bells and other snowy songs while I trundle around the supermarket  in slip slops and the coolest possible clothing, is more irritating than inspiring.

So we are trying something different this year!  We are off to be closer to the North Pole and experience a winter Christmas.  I am told that a lot of the traditions make more sense in the cold, dark evenings.  I will let you know! 

If I was the letter writing type and believed in Father Christmas, I would only have one word on my wish list: Enough. I was rereading TS Eliot's "Journey of the Magi" the other day.  He talks about the long, rough journey, with men cursing, hostile and unfriendly people, high prices of goods, and sleeping in snatches with voices in their heads saying this was all folly.  Relates to our lives these past few covid/ war/ inflation years perhaps??

And when the wise men finally get through all that, they come to the other side to find conditions "satisfactory."  I love that word.  Somehow we have taken it to mean mediocre - could be better, but originally it meant to make or have enough (Latin for the win.).  And enough is just what we need.

Imagine if everyone had enough - food, water, resources, money, happiness, health.  It would be such a different world. And I think that may be the intention behind Christmas - that we wish enough for all people all over the world.  That would truly be magic. And if Father Christmas can find a special place in his heart for South Africans this year, perhaps he could wrap up some electricity, water, and non corrupt leadership.  It's a big ask, I know.

Wishing you all Enough this festive season.

Happy New Year?

This year, for many people, Happy New Year was more of a hesitant question than the bold exuberant greeting.  For the buoyantly optimistic, it is the start of what has to be better times, but for many jaded people it is a whispered sigh of disbelief.  There is just too much sadness, confusion and tiredness going round to believe that this will, indeed, be a happier new start to the previous years.    

In decades past, Andrew's parents were part of the street party generation.  On old year's eve, the neighbourhood would gather with their filled tupperwares and bottles of wine and party the night away.  At midnight, they cranked up an old siren and welcomed the new year in loudly and enthusiastically.  My family of origin were often in Sedgefield and as there was no electricity (or water - we pumped our water supply by hand from ground water....), it was a quieter affair. I liked that we rolled with the rhythm of nature - sunrise and sunset being our clocks.  (The Fiddler on the Roof song comes to mind.....one year following another..........)

The turn of the century was probably one of my most memorable New Year's Eves.  We (Andrew, R and me - K was an unborn treasure at that point) went to Milnerton beach, and watched the fireworks across the bay.  Do you remember the underground panic that was doing the rounds at that time? The Y2K phenomenon was seen as a Clear and Present danger. The threat was all/most/some technology would stop working because of the date change. (Here's a wiki link for you Young People who haven't heard of this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Year_2000_problem ) January 1 2000 came and went and the Y2K worry faded into obscurity.  The scientists handled the problem, and the conspiracy theorists found themselves without a cause. If only 1 January 2022 could have been as unremarkable...

This year, we were roadtripping over New Year.  Andrew's sense of adventure (and direction) leads us on some offbeat paths.  We were cruising the dust roads in the mountains behind Barrydale when we came across 2 farm gates stacked one on top of the other.  Tall cattle we assumed.  Or giraffes, we laughed.  But no....rather unbelievably, we saw elephants. We had stumbled across a private nature reserve (in case you are thinking elephants roam the streets in South Africa....).  What a treat to observe these magnificent creatures. It felt like a gift.  Barrydale was lovely too, and we saw the new year in after playing board games with friends, clinking our sparkling wine just after 11.30 (I decided we had waited long enough!) 

But I am ever mindful of the time of loss we are in.  I think one of the greatest losses is our ability to have the confidence to be happy and care free.  We are all too aware how everything can be snatched away in the blink of an eye.  Life is fragile. 

Happy New Year?  Let's wait and see.

Magnificent animal

 

View from the stoep in Barrydale

The bougainvillea in a pot

 It's over! As of a couple of hours ago, school days are a thing of the past for this family.  It feels like a major achievement to have weathered the school leaving exams in a pandemic with a child who has type 1 diabetes. (If you are wondering why that makes a difference, there is a whole blog about my experiences mothering diabetes: time4t1.blogspot.com).  Freedom beckons!  The future is a gold-paved path stretching out in front of Daughter!  Celebrations and relaxation are the order of the day!

Except, that is not really true.....

Celebrations are muted.  The future is a little uncertain.  Freedom wears a mask these days.  Covid round 4 for us in South Africa. (Please do not get me started on the UK's response to SA identifying the Omicron variant - my anger will ruin your day.) We  South Africans are resilient people, but we are also tired.

I find nature restores my soul, or at least stops me from wanting to kick a proverbial cat.  So the bougainvillea in the pot in the corner of my garden was an excellent focus point when stress levels were rising last week.  The burst of colour was just so lovely.  But being busy, I  enjoyed it from afar, admiring it every time I went to my car or looked out the upstairs window. 

And, I told myself, how marvellous that it was putting on such a gorgeous show after I had (to be honest) neglected it spectacularly these past few months.  So good that it could flourish without being nurtured.  Or even watered.

Bougainvilleas are strange plants.  They flower best when not watered much.  It seems counterintuitive, but I checked on a gardening site.   A few days ago, I finally made it to the corner of the garden.  And guess what?  The bougainvillea is not flourishing at all.  There are a few dried leaves hanging on for dear life, a touch of green on otherwise woody, droopy stems.  The flowers are beautiful, but the plant is putting all it's energy into the blooms, and the roots and branches are not thriving.  All of a sudden the blooms seemed more of a cry for help than a gift of gardening.  

It felt familiar.  Our outward appearances, smiley and dressed up, may not be so much a sign that we are flourishing, but rather a Look At Me in the corner - I could do with some support and soul -watering. We need to take care of ourselves during this exhausting pandemic.  We need to put our energy in maintaining good roots, supporting our selfs (not a typo!), and nurturing our relationships with the people who matter to us.  If we manage to bloom that will be a bonus, but it should not be at the expense of deep grounding and keeping strong.

You will be pleased to know I did water the bougainvillea, and all the other pot plants.  I am planning on taking some time off from being stressed too - I may as well listen to my own inner ramblings.  Be kind to yourself too.  It's been a long year.